


Time

by simonplusbaz



Series: Time [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuto is Angery, I named this time because I'm listening to Time by Hans Zimmer rn don't mind me, Kenma Recovering, Kuroo is the best pal a pal could ask for, M/M, i rly tried, i'm gonna continue this to tie everything up do not worry, pls excuse me, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 19:30:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8026120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simonplusbaz/pseuds/simonplusbaz
Summary: Basically Kenma is an absolute wreck after Akaashi dies, and Kuroo and Bokuto are there to fix him up. Some things... Might not... Work out...





	Time

_Four days._

“Kenma?” 

_Kuro again. He understands. It’s okay. It’s okay._

“Kenma, I made you some food. Open up.”

_He already knows I won’t. I can’t. Akaashi was meant to make me dinner tonight… It’s on the sticky note he left on his night stand. **T**_ **_uesday: Make dinner for Kozume and I. Go grocery shopping._ **

_His handwriting is so neat— always better than mine. I want him back._

Kenma rolled over, greasy hair most likely tangling behind him. He wanted sleep. 

He heard one more knock on the locked door before pulling the pile of clothes closer to him— they smelled like him. Like Keiji.

Their cat, Parfat, jumped at the movement… Obviously, Kenma wasn’t the only one who missed Akaashi. Parfait hadn’t moved from that pile of clothes since the retched day. 

Kenma closed his eyes tight and wished for sleep, ignoring the light pouring in through the windows. Ignoring the hollers from his best friend. Ignoring the fact that he was alone. 

_I love you, Keiji. Goodnight._

 

“Hey! Wake up already! Come out…” 

The incessant rapping on the door was what woke Kenma up… The howls of his name and pleads for him to come out were the same as always. 

_You don’t understand. He’s gone, Kuro. There’s no more for me._

“Bo, I think I heard him moving in there… Kenma?” 

_I’m not awake I’m not awake I’m not awake._

“Kozume… You can’t stay in there forever. It’s becoming unhealthy. Come out…”

_No…_

“Please. I— I miss him too.” 

Choked sobs sounded from behind the door, and something deep inside Kenma’s stomach churned.

_Bokuto-san… I forgot… He must be hurting too…_

That was what made him push himself out of bed at last, not forgetting to pull one of Akaashi’s shirts from the gigantic pile and putting it on. 

_He won’t mind… He always let me borrow his clothes… Before…_

Kenma hadn’t stood much since it happened. He had made it to the bathroom and he had gone to get a snack from the kitchen once in the wee hours of the morning, but he couldn’t deny that his legs had gotten used to the minimal amount of pressure. He took shaky steps towards the door… _One step, two step, three… Four…_ And unlocked the door before heading back to his bed.

_Our bed. It will always be mine and his._

Evidently, Kuro and Bokuto heard the door unlock. With a “Kenma, we’re coming in.”, they entered.

Kenma had never seen Bokuto cry. 

He was well aware that it wasn’t uncommon, for he had heard Keiji attempt to calm him down over Skype a million times. But he had never seen the distraught look upon his face, the rose colored cheeks, the actual snot on his upper lip… 

Kenma hadn’t cried. Not yet. 

“Kozume-san… You look like a mess.” Bokuto chuckled, darkly. 

“K-Kenma.” was all he could think to reply— to correct.

_I don’t know what to say to him. He’s known Keiji far longer than me… How is he out of his room? How is he living without Akaashi? It just doesn’t seem possible…_

“Oh, Kenma. There’s dust on your game system…”

_Why would that matter?_

“You haven’t even played once? Since…” 

“Kuro,” said Kenma. “There’s no point. I’ll just win and have to buy another… Keiji always said I could be using our money on different things… We were always a little short…” 

Kenma noticed the way Bokuto reacted to Akaashi’s name. He just decided to ignore it.

“But it’s… It’s your favorite thing. Isn’t it?” 

Kenma couldn’t answer. He didn’t want to. Instead, he rolled away from them. There was rustling and murmurs behind him that he really didn’t care to listen to, and he heard footsteps. _One step, two, three step, four, five step…_ And before he could close his eyes again, the mattress dipped behind him and he felt an arm snake around his waist.

_Keiji holds me like this. Keiji. Nobody else._

But Kenma couldn’t quite find the will to reposition. 

“Kuro.” he whispered, because he didn’t know what else there was to say. 

“It’s unfair.” Kuro whispered back.

“I know.” 

Kenma flipped over so that he could hide his face in his best friend’s chest. It was a comfort he hadn’t experienced in years, since college… But he needed it now. More than he ever has.

It couldn’t have been five minutes before Kuro spoke again, into his hair. “Kenma, come and eat. This long without food isn’t healthy. I’m worried.” 

And because Kuroo Tetsurou was his best friend, and he was worried about him, Kenma decided one meal without Keiji wouldn’t be the end of the world. 

 

Kenma’s eyes scanned his house lazily as he walked through, and he noticed the covers strewn out around the living room, which meant Kuro, Bokuto, or both have been staying over. He noticed Akaashi’s jacket still hanging over one of the kitchen chairs, and Bokuto sitting in the one opposite it.

_We’ve done this before. This isn’t new. Akaashi is away right now, and it is Friday night. Bokuto and Kuro came over just like they always do, and after our meal we’ll pepper around a volleyball. This isn’t new. This isn’t new._

Desperately, Kenma tried to forget the fact that they were eating breakfast on a Wednesday morning. 

He ran through the motions. All day long. The three went out and got groceries because “Kenma, I don’t know what you eat around here. You have to help pick out the food.”. (He decided to keep it to himself that he only got Special K because it’s Keiji’s favorite cereal.) He played volleyball when Bokuto said it would help him get his mind off of things. 

They had to stop playing because Bokuto couldn’t see the ball through his tears. 

Kenma never cried.

 

Kuro and Koutarou had made it their mission to wake Kenma up every morning, since he’d decided to leave the door unlocked from then on out. He expected it to not make much of a difference. He expected his friends to respect Kenma’s privacy. 

So _why_ was Kuro sitting on Keiji’s side of the bed, patting his head? 

“Wake up, sleepy head. It’s noon.” 

“Don’wanna.” he spoke, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes anyways. The first thing he noticed when finally opening up his eyes was Bokuto, fiddling with the things on Akaashi’s desk. 

“Don’t… Touch his things. Without this permission.” mumbled Kenma, feeling… Frustrated? Angry? 

_No one is allowed to meddle with Keiji’s things… He wouldn’t like that._

_“_ Kenma? Kenma, are you okay?” Kuro.

“Akaashi really wouldn’t like anyone rearranging his things… He always… Got angry…” 

Kenma hadn’t immediately felt the hot tears on his cheeks. 

Kuro had pulled him over onto his chest before he even had the chance. 

Bokuto had moved away from Akaashi’s desk, like he’d been asked to.

However, “Kenma. I’m am so _tired_  of this! You act as if you were the only one who has lost someone, and you’re… You’re not! Keiji was my best friend in the world, okay, Kenma?” Kenma couldn’t bring himself to look at the older man. “I… Lost him too. You act as if you’re too good for feelings… Is this the first time you’ve cried? Over your beloved fiancé?” 

“Bokuto…” Kuro said defensively, pulling his best friend ever closer. 

“No, Kuroo. He needs to understand this. We all loved Keiji, Kenma.” the small boy flinched at the use of his fiancé’s first name. “Even Kuro is hurting now, and you haven’t paid any mind to any of it. To any of us. Not even the cat! Kenma, Parfat’s bowl hasn’t been refilled in days…” 

Kenma didn’t answer. He gripped onto Kuro’s striped tee with small, clenched fists, praying Bokuto would leave, praying all of this would be forgotten. 

Except then Bokuto was yelling. “I’m starting to think you shouldn’t have even been with Akaashi, Kenma! I’m starting to think he deserved someone so much better than you…” 

Shattered.

Kenma was still hiding in Kuro’s chest, hot tears pooling on the bed beneath them. He felt weak, weaker than usual. He felt like if he shook anymore or with any more intensity than he was now, he might just pass out. From the outside of his current safe haven, Kenma heard slamming and grunting and all of a sudden, there was broken glass on him, and on Kuro, and on the bed, and on Parfat… Kuro was yelling now too, yards away… 

“Bokuto, that was uncalled for. Get out right now.” Pause. “ **Now!** ” Repeat. 

Bokuto screamed back. “Who are you to tell me to leave, Kuroo? Let Kenma do it! Let Kenma do it!” 

“Leave Kenma be! Just let him sort out his emotions, Bokuto!” 

“What, like I’ve been doing for the past week?”

And the voices softened. “Exactly like you’ve been doing for the past week. Let him do it on his own time.” 

Then the door shut. When Kenma opened his eyes, he and Parfat were alone, sparkling from the glass that had shattered above their heads. He rose quickly, sweeping shards out of his hair. Still shaking, still crying, but now with a tiny scrape on his knee, he searched for a sign of what Bokuto had broken. What Kenma already knew, but didn’t want to believe. 

And he found it quickly. On the floor next to the bed lay the picture frame Bokuto had given he and Akaashi as a gift for their engagement. Nearby, the picture sat alone; Bokuto, Akaashi, Kenma, and Kuro all in a line, happier than ever at Fukurodani’s training camp. 

He grabbed the photo before sitting on the floor against the wall. Eventually, his sobs lulled him to sleep. 

He met Keiji in his dreams.

_Sweet kisses on his forehead, sweet kisses on his nose, sweet kisses on his lips… Kenma couldn’t even remember what missing this felt like. He melted into the softness of Keiji’s lips against his, not even bothering to see where they were because all that mattered was Akaashi. Akaashi is here, in his arms, kissing him, loving him. Akaashi is home._

_“Kenma,” Akaashi looked as if he were out of it, dreamily gazing at his fiancé with half-lidded eyes. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”_

_And Kenma wanted so badly to reply, to tell Keiji he felt the exact same way and more, but he couldn’t._

 

Kenma had never been more upset over being woken up. 

He was in the living room now, on the couch. His head on some throw pillows Yamaguchi and Tsukishima had given them as house-warming gifts. (Kenma was sure it had been Yamaguchi who’d chosen them. Or decided to give them a house-warming gift in the first place.) The front door was wide open, and he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it until Kuro walked back through, bedsheets in hand.

“Oh! Kenma, you’re awake. Sorry I moved you; you were lying on the floor when I found you. I was just shaking the glass out of your sheets, I hope that’s okay.” he paused. “Listen, Bokuto really didn’t mean what he did. He’s still recovering from Akaashi’s death, just like you, and he got a little overly emotional and—“

“Kuro, that’s enough.” he went silent immediately at the sound of Kenma’s voice. “Let Bokuto do it. You don’t have to be the mediator anymore. Thank you for your efforts.” 

“Yeah. No problem.” 

And for the first time, Kenma heard the sudden change of tone. He noticed the way Kuro’s lips turned from a smile to… Nothing. 

“What’s wrong, Kuro?” 

And Kuro exploded. “You know, this whole time I’ve been trying to help you through this. I’ve been taking care of your responsibilities all week, hoping you’d come back around soon. Hoping my best friend would come back somehow. But you don’t… You haven’t shown that you appreciate my efforts in even the slightest way. And sometimes I can’t help but think that maybe Bokuto’s right, maybe you are being a little ridiculous. 

“And Kenma, I disregard my own damn thoughts because I know this is all hitting you pretty hard, and I want to be the person that’s there when you bounce back. But I’m… Sick of this.” 

Shattered. 

Suddenly sheepish, Kuro continued. “I’m gonna go home… Make sure you don’t forget to take care of Parfat… And take care of yourself too. I’ll just put this back in your room and leave, if you’ve got nothing to say.” 

They stared at each other from across the room in silence, and Kenma willed the right words to say to come to his head, but they wouldn’t. The words wouldn’t come, and Kenma was going to lose his best friend and he was going to be all alone. 

Kenma couldn’t let the words stay in, just like they had in his dream…

But then Kuro disappeared before he got them out.

**Author's Note:**

> YO YO YO this is a mess I am really sorry and honestly that summary is useless and I am so sorry I have to go do homework pls leave me Kudos and Comments because I'm annoying and needy thanks


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